Can you hear me?

Dear Aunt Carla,

We wanted to give you some flowers. I would love to leave them at your grave, but I can't. "Grave" really? I honestly don't want to leave them there at all, I want to be able to hand them to you. I would like the whole grave thing to not be there. But it is and that is life, and more than anything I wished I lived closer so I could put flowers there. I would like to sit down next to you and tell you little things from time to time. Things you should know cause you are part of our family. We miss you! Everyone, all of us, in different ways. Grandma, she is amazing! You would be so proud of her. I cannot imagine what this is like for her and she hangs tough everyday. It is around that time of year where you used to go to all those fairs and flea markets, I know it will make Aunt Candy sad to go without you this year. Victoria makes that noise! You know that noise you always made with your mouth and throat, she does it. All the time, I never taught her, she just does it. It makes me think of you all the time. You would get a kick out of hearing her make that noise. She looks just like I did when I was little too, which I am sure you would have enjoyed seeing. The boys ask about you, checking to see if you are still gone, I hate saying yes. They are all getting so big! Eric and Jessica will start kindergarten in September. Little Martin looks a lot like Tommy to me, and he is doing good. James still asks about you, whether you got a lot of time with him or not you will always be his Grandma. All in all everyone is well, but we miss you. Mom is still pretty mad, she wanted you take better care of yourself. She gets frustrated with John and Candy too. She is so neurotic it is hard to feel her good intentions through all her comments, but they are there, and she is scared to lose anyone else. I know you know that but I wish you had listened to her years ago. Anyway no more shoulda, coulda, woulda. I want you to know we have not forgotten about you. I want you to know that if I could I would stop by your grave all the time and leave you flowers and tell you what has been going on, but it is so far and the kids keep me so busy. I want you to know my little girl makes that silly noise you did. "Did", not a fan of putting it that way. I hope you can hear me. Please know that I think of you all the time. Keep us in your heart & prayers, as we do you! Talk to you soon!

I love you

Winnie