Could Always Be Worse

Two angels are sent to watch over a poor family in need of some good luck. The family has nothing but a tiny broken down house, eachother, and a cow that they use for their only source of income since the father fell ill. At night the angels would take turns watching over them, one morning they all woke to find the cow had died. The one angel says to the other "How could you let this happen? Now they will have nothing! It was our job to watch over them, and we have failed them!". "We have not failed them at all, last night the angel of death came for the mother and I convinced him the take the cow instead."

This was and incedible message that I could not help but to share

with anyone who will read this!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

There are a thousand things, at least, I could be thankful for this year. (and every year for that matter) Some of them I would like to share with you.

*COFFEE, yeah healthy kids could go first, but when your kids are sick, you can still get a cup of coffee!
*My kids!!! I am thankful for all the ways they challenge me, for all the things they teach me about myself (good and bad), for all the experiences only parents get to have (good and bad), and for all the funny little things they say!
*My husband! Without him it would be so much harder to enjoy and be thankful for the items mentioned above!! Without him who would I call a thousand times a day to voice the millions of stupid little things that go thru my head, who would make me eggs in the morning and wash my dishes at night, who would wake up and spoon at 4am when I smell like an ashtray, who would I nag at, and who would I drink my coffee with!!!!
*Sex! It could have been mentioned above with "the husband", but I like it enough to give it it's own line! Even when you don't have it a lot, it's worth being thankful for! I've noticed sometimes when you stop being thankful for something it tends to go away, so this year sex gets it's own line!
*Family and Friends and the never ending support they bring into our life!!
*My brother, again he could be grouped in with the above mentioned, but deserves a line of his own!
*I am unbelievably thankful for our good luck and fortune! When I watch the aweful things that go on around world I am thankful to be untouched by it all (so far).
*My house and comfort and stabilty it brings my family.
*Equity (in the above mentioned) Do I really need to give a reason on why I am thanful for that?!
*My computer, it makes it possible for me to share all the things I am thankful for with the whole world! And pictures of my kids too!
*TURKEY, STUFFING, MASHED POTATOES, GRAVY, CORN, SWEET POTATOES, ROLLS, AND EVERYTHING THAT GOES ALONG WITH A THANKSGIVING DINNER!

I have many more things I am thankful for but I'm gonna go eat leftovers now! I hope you all had a wonderful day, and have as many things to be thankful for as I do.

The Monkey

Sometimes we need something different from the norm to happen to break up our routine.

On any normal day I pick the monkey up from the bus stop we argue about why he can't invite himself over a friend's house that day, drive the two blocks home and pull his homework out, or wait for dad to come home so I can go to work, and dad pulls the homework out. So today I race to the grocery store, after getting the bear, to get dinner for tonight and chili stuff for friday. We are all still sick and I wanted to make something good and hearty to give our immune systems a jump start. The viewing and funeral for my aunt stuck in my brain, "I gotta bring chili", "Jace's suit needs to be cleaned", "don't forget the salad", "How will I tell the kids?", "What the hell am I gonna wear", "Where will we stay?", "When am I gonna pack, What am I gonna pack?", "Who will watch the kids", "Why does my mom have to be so angry with everyone right now?", And most importantly "Did my Aunt Carla really die?!?". Over and over these thoughts slowly passing through my thickly congested head. "Hurry and get the stuff you need and get to the bus, Jacob gets out early", I think to myself. As I pull up to the bus stop I see the bus pull away, "Whew! He did not have to wait for me". But wait Jacob does not get off the bus today? I ask another mom if she saw him and she says no, I ask 2 of his friends and they say they did not see him on the bus today. Where is my child??? I call the school and start to drive over there immediately. The lady in the office checks with his teacher, I pull up to the school, NO JACOB! They call him over the loud speaker, and call the transportation dept. (bus drivers), nobody has a extra kid yet. I tell them if they find him hold on to him and call me, I'm gonna go drive around the neighborhood and knock on doors. WHERE IS MY KID!! Starting to panic I call Jace, "Our kid did not get off the bus, and is not at school, currently he is missing. I need you to come home". I call a neighbor and ask her to start looking around the neighborhood, I am at least 3 minutes away and scared. Just as I start to reach our developement I see a bus coming from the other direction, "PLEASE BE JACOB" and sure enough the bus stops in front of the bus stop, and Jacob comes running off the bus, "Mom, guess what? I know where Kevin lives now!". The bus driver gives me the scoop, I call everyone to tell them he is found, I hold him tight rubbling my cheek and lips against his soft hair breathing in the scent from his noggin! Each one of my kids has a delicious smell to their noggins, a smell that makes me feel like butterflies flutter around my heart! Today that smell made the thoughts of the funeral unimportant for a moment, and the arguements about going to a friend's house and doing his homework silly also! Tomorrow we may argue about going to a friends house again, but I am willing to bet I will enjoy that arguement more than I did yesterday!

Learning

Today is turtle's 2nd birthday. Hard to believe that 2 years has passed since she was born. An incredible change for us to have a little girl, but and enjoyable one.
Happy Birthday Baby Girl!!
We welcome the ponies and shortcakes you ask for, and all the other ways you will (and have) changed our life. May we have many more birthdays to share with you!!

Can't Sleep

So this blogging thing is so new to me that I did not know how to make a new post for awhile. Which at this point does not really matter because no one is reading this anyway. It is the middle of the night and I am writting because I can not sleep. AC is not doing well and mom thinks it is time soon. Sad, scared, angry!! At 29 years of age this will be my first close up experience with death. For anyone who might stumble across this blog.... I am damn lucky, I know! But it seems as though the luck has run out. More so hers and not mine. But in a selfish way I am deeply saddened. She is not my mother, or my sister, or someone involved in my day to day actions, but she is someone invovled in my day to day thoughts and memories. She is a part of who I am, maybe less for me than other people, but none the less a part of me. Is she scared? Does she feel safe? Will she slip off quietly? Will it hurt? Will she be alone? God please don't let her be alone! How can that be it? How do we have family things without her? There will be a empty space in our family. Her passing will forever make us all feel a little bit short of whole when we are all together. Does she know how we will miss her? If I could have one wish today it would be for her to always be able to see us and know we are missing her. I long for her spirit to have the ability to be with us and still enjoy the days that we spend together. For her to see her son when he is happy and when he is sad. To have the ability to wrap her love around him when he is lonely for her. I hope she has the ability to see james grow into a little boy, and then into a man, and I long for her to enjoy in the relationship he and ricky will develope, and to know that it is all because of her. I long for her to not leave us but that being completely impossible I long for her to have complete peace within herself. And I long for us all to be reminded that time is undefined and to waste no moment.