The Things I Worry About

Sometimes I wonder if everyone worries like me, that every little thing they do will mess their kids up.

I am extremely aware that they are watching everything I do! They watch when I laugh, and watch when I cry. They watch when I yell, and when I don't. They see when Jace and I disagree and when we fight. Everything from what I wear , to what I eat, to what I watch on TV is under the microscope!! This is a huge responsibility they do not mention when they show you how to change a diaper. It is not until you see your child display one of your bad habits that you realize you have the ability to mess them up completely, and at this point some damage is already undone.
Ok, no problem I will just set a good example from now on.....uh.....what exactly is a good example? Sh*t! I have no idea what I am doing!
When do you help them and when do you make them figure it out on their own? When do you protect them and when do you let them get hurt? When do you hide your mistakes and when do you say "deal with them people make them all the time". When you yell at them is it good when they yell back or disrespectful? Do you get them everything they want for Christmas or just a few things, and which few things should you buy? Do you get them what they want or what they need? When they fight with eachother do you get involved or let them work it out? And how long do you let them "work it out" before you finally step in (this one applies to boys especially)? Should I give them chores and an allowance or just make them help because they live here? The problem is not the answers, if you talk it out with your husband and friends or family, read a few articles online, pick up a book or two you can usually figure out where you stand and how you want to deal with most issues. The problem is the quick reaction time you need to deal with each and every issue. By the time you realize you have stumbled across something important you have already reacted, or decided, or answered. Then you are just left to wonder if that was the right way to deal with it or not, and to stress about what to do next time.
I want them to grow up to be considerate, compassionate, competent, and confident adults. I don't care what they do for a living or if they go to college, but I want to them to be able to make good decisions on their own about things. And I want them to understand the importance of each decision they make. I want them to treat the people above them AND the people below them with respect. I want them to come home every once in awhile for dinner, and call me when they can't make it. I want them to ALWAYS feel close to me, but not dependent on me. I want to encourage them to go after what they want. I also want them to be smart enough to want what is good for them (at least when it really counts). I want them to be HAPPY. I want them to be SUCCESSFUL. I want them to be LOVING. And SATISFIED, and HUMBLE, and EAGER, and SINCERE. The list could go on and on. These thoughts fill my head and heart so full I can feel them start to spill out my eyes. How do two people accomplish all this for three people? Some how this parenting thing went from wiping butts and reading books to transforming innocent and sweet little human beings into an extraordinary adults. I am completely unprepared for this job!!